Flirting - A Comprehensive Guide

Why Flirt?

The technique of flirting has been used for thousands of years, and it’s no wonder; flirting is the optimum way to express an interest, establish a connection and build a relationship. That is assuming that the flirting has been done correctly and in the right circumstances; in some countries a flick of the hair and a cheeky grin can be an open invitation for sex. So to ensure that you don’t get yourself into a sticky situation regarding an Egyptian, his camel and a pair of scissors (don’t ask), this article is covering all aspects of flirtation – when to do it, how to do it and its role in relationships.

How to Flirt

One of the most typical ways of flirting is the ‘eye-drop'. Simply make eye contact with the person of interest (P.O.I), hold for a second, briefly look downwards and smile. Maintaining that smile, slowly draw your eyes up once more and hold his/her gaze further for another second. The ‘eye-drop’ comes with a warning: you must take your time. If you speed up the eye movements the flirt will simply look like you’re having some sort of fit.

Another effective flirting technique is appropriately called the ‘brush and walk'. This one is perfect for a busy, fast-paced environment. Simply bustle past him/her and make shoulder contact. Turn around (for a rather flattering facial angle), put your hand on his/her shoulder gently, smile and apologise. This technique also has a warning label: do not physically hurt, maim or mutilate the P.O.I with your bustle. At the risk of looking slightly insane, do not linger on the P.O.I’s shoulder for longer than 2 seconds. However, I would say the risk is worth it; there is great potential to strike off a conversation with your P.O.I and to end with some sort of loose end – “I’ll see you around?”

Now I would only recommend this third flirting technique if you are friendly, or on good terms with your P.O.I. Do not, under any circumstances apply this method to a stranger you merely like the look of unless you enjoy the challenge of a restraining order. This flirtation is called the ‘care bear'. Firstly, greet him/her in a corridor or hallway (any confined spaces like a lift may be very uncomfortable for your P.O.I). It is then up to you to make polite, amicable conversation – “how was your lunch meeting with Thomas...what is your sister up to these days?” Then briefly pause mid sentence half way through the conversation, look bemused, and adjust his tie or brush some imaginary lint off her jacket. This abrupt spark of physical contact, although on the outside seemingly innocent, portrays a heavy subconscious interest.

When done correctly, these 3 flirting techniques can make you seem like a caring, interesting and pleasant person. However they can have the opposite effect if applied in an inappropriate situation.

When to Flirt

Conversely, flirting can be most effective in public places – the ‘eye-drop’ across a classroom or crowded office has melted hearts many times; the intimacy of strong, isolated eye-contact contrasted with the hustle and bustle of everyday life can make a person feel very special and indeed, attractive. I would say, however, that the ‘brush and walk’ is only appropriate in casual or laissez-faire work situations; the last thing you want to do is say “I’ll hopefully see you soon” only to be in a high profile meeting with your P.O.I half an hour later. Bearing that in mind, do not spout off whatever seemingly elusive comment your brain thinks of – plan ahead and decide what you are going to say in accordance to the situation.

There are 2 occasions where i believe flirting to be unacceptable:

• Funerals or Memorials
• If your P.O.I is married or in a long-term relationship

Despite this, flirting can be applied almost anywhere effectively, so don't panic if you're a funeral planner or marriage counsellor. I would say this though; if you are going on holiday abroad, ask your travel agent or a friend about the social customs and expectations - remember Egyptians, camels and scissors...

Flirting: its role in relationships

What I will never understand is why couples stop flirting. Just because you’ve found Prince Charming or the Lady of your Dreams does not mean you’re exempt from this article! The desire to make someone feel special and wanted shouldn’t simmer out with time or routine, so go ahead, flirt with your life partner – it’ll keep your relationship fresh and expectant.

Here are some tips for those in a relationship:

Write flirty post-it notes on the fridge, his/her briefcase, favourite underwear you name it. There is something profoundly appealing about flirty texts and emails too, but be careful - the last thing he needs is a riot around his desk when a provocative picture of you pops up on his computer. Don't forget the classic: laughing at rubbish jokes. You never know, all this flirting may even improve your sex-life, but i'm too young to judge.

Conclusion

Flirting is all about confidence. Even if you make an idiot out of yourself by, say, accidentally poking your P.O.I in the face when adjusting his tie, just laugh at yourself: laughing can ressurect almost anything. Don't be afraid to be creative - if you're going to drop something at his (i wouldn't try this if you were a man) feet, forget a pencil and make it a sex book. Show him/her that you are an interesting, delightful person.